Pictures & Jokes » Jokes

Life Before Apple & Blackberry

Sat, 01 May 2010 16:14:00 +0000

… wasn’t it a whole lot simpler then!? No BBM-ing, LOL-ing, LMFAO-ing, repetitive wrist strain injuries and more … life when Apple and Blackberry were simply fruits.

Blonde Joke – World’s Longest Password

Tue, 13 Apr 2010 10:37:25 +0000

See the girl above …. know what she’s reading? She’s going cross-eyed, reading the world’s longest password. Her password is “MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento“, and when asked why she had chosen such a long password, one which uses mainly the names of cartoon characters, she reportedly said “DUH, it said I needed to make it at least 8 characters long and include at least one capital!“

Diary Of A Blonde

Tue, 19 Jan 2010 10:10:12 +0000

A pretty sorry (and hilarious) state of affairs in this blonde’s monthly diary!

Phone Answering Machine Joke – Australia

Thu, 07 Jan 2010 12:14:58 +0000

As you will hear in this answering machine / automated operator phone system, they don’t play around at this particular school in Australia. Check it out below.

Why Men Shouldn’t Write Advice Columns

Mon, 21 Dec 2009 14:41:42 +0000

Here someone has written in to a male advice columnist called ‘John’. His response to her heart-felt submission makes you see why men shouldn’t write advice columns.

Nag, Nag, Nag, Nag

Fri, 17 Jul 2009 02:53:08 +0000

A man asked an American Indian what was his wife’s name. He replied, “She called Four Horse”.

The man said, “That’s an unusual name for your wife. What does it mean?” The Old Indian answered, “It old Indian Name. It means …

… NAG, NAG, NAG, NAG!”

PetAirways – Pet Only Airlines – Coming Next Week

Thu, 09 Jul 2009 15:16:36 +0000

Did you know that a new pet-only airline called PetAirways launches next week, and will offer weekly routes between L.A., Denver, Chicago, Baltimore, and New York City.

“Pawsengers” can include dogs, cats, pigs, goats, birds, reptiles and other animals, and they’ll be flown VIP style to their destinations in the cabin of a turbo-prop Beech aircraft.

Before boarding, pets can relax in an airport lounge that’s made specially for them. They also get a bathroom break prior to their flight, and an attendant checks in with them every fifteen minutes throughout their journey. Upon landing, if no one is there to pick them up right away, they can stay overnight at a special lodge.

One-way fares start at $149 and can be booked now. Check out PetAirways.Com

Ridiculous Newspaper Headlines

Tue, 07 Jul 2009 11:09:28 +0000

Check out these ridiculous newspaper headlines from around the world. Somehow it doesn’t seem as if proofreading actually occurred in the editorial departments of these newspapers.

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
Seriously? Do you really think so??

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
Now that’s taking things a bit far!

War Dims Hope for Peace
I can see where it might have that effect!

If Strike Isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
You think?!

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
Who would have thought so!!?

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
You mean there’s something stronger than duct tape?

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
That’s what he gets for eating those beans!

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
Boy, are they tall!

Now that you’ve smiled at least once, it’s your turn to spread it … send this page to someone that you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle). We all need a good laugh, at least once a day!

Drink More Wine & Less Water

Tue, 30 Jun 2009 06:42:39 +0000

As Ben Franklin said: “In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is freedom, in water there is bacteria.”

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have demonstrated that if we drink 1 litre of water each day, at the end of the year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia coli, (E. coli) – bacteria found in feces. In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking wine & beer (or tequila, rum, whiskey or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

So Remember: Water = Poop, Wine = Health.
Therefore, it’s better to drink wine and talk stupid, than to drink water and be full of poop.

There is no need to thank us for this valuable information: Picturesandjokes.Com is doing it as a public service

Little Susie & The Undies

Sun, 21 Jun 2009 03:21:07 +0000

Little Susie goes home from school and tells her mum that the boys keep asking her to do cartwheels because she’s very good at them.

Mum says: “YOU should say NO … they only want to look at your undies”.

Susie said: “I know they do that’s why I hide them in my backpack”!!